Emotional Eating--The Real Holiday Stressor
Posted: Monday, December 14, 2009
by Richard Kuhns
Stress Management Institute
Emotional eating goes out the window with holiday stress. And so does losing weight. But the real holiday stress is not the rushing around (not that there isn't any of that) but it's the uncertainty of all your plans working out for the season.
Aside from uncertainty there's certainly the pressure to get things done, anticipation, hurridiness and so on. Uncertainty that all your plans will work out well and everyone including you will be happy as a result of all that you are doing. There's uncertainty that you'll project the right image at the holiday party--uncertainty that you'll even find the gifts you're looking for--uncertainty that you'll get the right gifts.. There's uncertainty as to how you'll pay for them or what you can afford. Will you remember everything on your "to do" list? Will your guests all show up or will they get along?
A closely related emotion is anticipation. It's real easy to be into emotional eating.
Anyway losing weight or experiencing weight loss is but impossible unless these raw emotions are dealt with
Actually anticipation and uncertainty can be lumped together. But the bigger question is, "OK, how can we isolate them and leave emotional eating out of the equation?" Should we put losing weight and weight loss on the back burner for the holidays?
So what does one do with uncertainty? Just ask the weight loss experts and their response will be "Duh". Sure, ask them what to do with boredom and they are replete with tons of advice such as:
1. go exercise.
2. chew on celery.
3. call a friend.
If asked about uncertainty they'd likely provide the same advice and perhaps:
1. Have faith in yourself.
2. Don't worry, everything will work out.
Think about it. Doesn't this all boil down to the same thing, "do something about it?" Escape it, run away from it, convert it to something else.
This all makes perfect sense, right?
Let's look at uncertainty differently. Uncertainty is the result of:
1. Being unsure of yourself.
2. Being unsure of others and outside events.
3. Feeling out of control about circumstances.
And if we can not let it be that you're unsure of yourself and others, we will feel uncertain.
Rather than converting it to something else, denying it, or trying to escape (any one of which we might eventually do which leads to emotional eating) let's first acknowledge it and how we feel about it.
"I'm feeling uncertain and I dislike it or hate it.
Now if you can not let it be that you are uncertain or have control of everything, you'll do something about it and and since childhood you've been programmed to eat when you're uncertain--emotional eating. Comfort food is the answer to lacking faith in yourself or to comfort worrying.
This is all because we resist uncertainty. Allow yourself to feel uncertainty and it disappears and there will be no need to dilute it with food.
Ok, so let's just experience and feel uncertain. But it's not that easy. We've also been programmed since childhood to avoid uncertainty at all costs. Programs such as:
1. You shouldn't feel uncertain--everything will work out.
2. You should be in control.
Make your own list of beliefs you have about uncertainty. It's these beliefs and attitudes that you have about uncertainty that make it difficult for you to feel and experience uncertainty.
The good news is that as soon as you allow you to experience uncertainty, it disappears, but as long as you resist it, you will have to do something about it such as emotional eating.
Let's take it to another level! Now if you can not let it be that you are uncertain and you munch, what are you eating?
Symbolically you are eating the planned event (the thing you lack control over).
Sure the end result with feeling and experiencing an emotion might be that you end up calling a friend to discuss your uncertainties, let go of worry and just trust in your ability to handle whatever happens or something else but it won't be to escape uncertainty, it'll be as a result trusting your ability to handle any situation that may arise.
You might ask (if the end result is the same) why deal with uncertainty? It's because to be successful with uncertainty, it's important to acknowledge that you are diluting the emotion by emotionally eating your planned events. You then have an opportunity to move beyond "I have an eating problem" to "I have a problem when I'm uncertain of my plans working out as planned"
You are now directed to the stressor itself and can stop blaming your over weight condition on food. Plus when you actually experience uncertainty, it's gone and so is the need to dilute it.
Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E., NGH certified, an expert in the field of motivational thoughts with his best selling hypnosis and stress management cds at http://www.PanicBusters.com and http://www.DStressDoc.com. His aim is to make it provide the tools so anyone can get free of emotional binge eating. For more information please visit http://www.dstressdoc.com/BingeEatingEbook.htm
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